The First Step

When I finished my chat with kerry that night I decided it was time to make a change permanantly in my life, no matter how hard it would be I knew I needed to change my thoughts about myself and learn to love myself and view myself the way my Creator does.

When I got home the next night I took the first step in finding a "mentor" I emailed a lady who has had a lot of influence in my life over the years, I went into a little detail about what happended on new years eve and I told her I know the Lord has big plans for me this year and I was looking for someone who would come along side me and lvoe me, teach me and be brutally honest with me. I told her I didn't know exactly what I wanted this mentoring thing to look like but I knew I was about to embark on a journey and wanted her to walk along side me. She replied to my email and said she liked the sounds of it so we met for coffee the next day when I went into my more details of what had been happening and what my struggles were.

We discovered we have a lot of the same struggles and most of them are because we worry to much about what other people think about us. She told me she just started reading a book called "So Long Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us" and asked me if I would go through it with her, I immediately said yes and we proceeded to go pick up the book immediately. Since reading the book I have learned so much about myself and the lies I have been believing for so many years. I am learning to replace the lies I've been believing like I'm not good enough, I'm a failure, no one likes me, I'm ugly, I'll never be able to get married, I'll never amount to anything, I'm not lovable and replace then with truths from scripture.

Here is a letter from my Heavenly Father I found when I first started this journey in January and I can't help but laugh at God's perfect timing:


I speak to you day and night. I love to tell you things, teach you, help you, guide you. I am your Lord and yhour life. Without me you can do nothing. I am speaking to you right now. I am quietly entering your heart and your thoughts right now. You are absorbing My word and My breath of life. You are precious to Me and it is sweet to speak to you this way.
Listen fro me early. When you awaken in the morning, open your eyes and your ears at the same time. As the new day coaxes you awake, allow me to kiss your thoughts with my words. Allow my voice to embrace your mind with mine.
Listen: Because you are min, I give you eternal life, and you shall never lose it or perish throughout the ages-to all eternity you shall never by any means be destroyed. No one can take my love away from you.

Listen; My Father, who has given you to Me, is greater and Mightier than all else; and no one is able to snatch you out of its hand...

Listen: the Father and I are one. I am your Good Shepherd. Yours. I am Yours. I know you. I love you; you are my own. And it is wonderful, my own, that you know and love me.

Listen: I want you to hear My voice at all times. I want to be able to speak to you and know you are listening. My heart holds a heavenly kingdom of wisdom, love and of joy to share with you.
if you will listen your thoughts will radiate and ignite your own to a brightness that will light up the whole world. You will be as a beacon of light on a hill, fixed and shining through every storm even in the blackest, starless night.

Listen, and i will show you whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of reverence, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and loveable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious. I will tell you where virtue and excellence lie, as well as that which is worthy of praise. Think and wiegh what I tell you, then fix your mind on these things.

Living in me, abiding, vitally united to me is what gives you understanding of majestic qualities. My words remain in you and continue to thrive and bubble up in joy and wisdom in your heart.

These are words I want to live by this year. I am committed to stepping out of my comforst zone, trying new things, meeting new people, learning to open up to people, sharing my story and all Jesus is doing in my. I am ready to be used in big ways, Jesus goes before me in all I do and is holding my hand and cheering me on. I will choose to listen to the VOICE OF TRUTH!Collapse this post