New year, New me

I decided to start "blogging" because I've had a sweet couple month's with my Jesus and I can't seem to catch up in my journal so I figured I can tyoe a lot faster than I can write so here goes my feeble attempt to write down all I've been learning. I wish I has done this at the beginning of January when this journey first began but I didn't, so I will do my best to bring you all up to speed on my year of resting and learning.

This all started on New Years Eve this year. My roommate and I went to my friend Kerry's house to bring in the new year. I didn't think much about going up there as it has always been a second home for me. I thought we'd go up eat some junk food, play some games and catch up on each other's lives. Boy was I wrong!! God had big plans for me that night that would change the way I viewed myself and the way I lived. It all started when Kerry & Laura (my roommate) decided we should make some new years resolutions. I really had no desire to sit and share with them what I wanted to change about myself in the new year, but it seemed I was out voted. Kerry and Laura changed the "rules" of making new years resolutions by saying we could make resolutions for the other person as well. When it got to my turn I didn't feel like sharing what i really wanted to change in myself so I tried to take the easy way out and just said 'I want to get out of debt and learn to live on a budget." I figured that would at least make it look like I wanted to change something about myself and it would get them off my back. But God has placed some incredible friends in my life and Kerry & Laura wouldn't let me get off by just saying that. Kerry (a friends of 19 years) then proceeded to say she wants to see me learn to love myself and view myself the way my Heavenly Father does, and stop the negative self-talk about myself and Laura said she would like to see me find a mentor I can talk to and learn from. I was trying so hard to not cry. I hate showing emotion in front of people and I didn't want Kerry and Laura to know they hit a very sensitive area in my life. The rest of the night was great once we made our new years resolutions we prayed for each other and again I was fighting the tears. Kerry played the piano while Laura and I picked out songs we wanted to sing to our Lord. We kept singing right into the new year it was a great time of reflection and connecting with Jesus. At around 2:00am Laura went to bed so Kerry and I went down to her room and we had a talk that changed my outlook on life.

Kerry shared with me all the Lord has been teaching her about sharing her story and proclaiming the good news of the Lord with all the people she comes into contact with. She shared with me the lies she had been believing and how she has been finding freedom from the lies the devil has been feeding her. She challenged me to talk to my Jesus the way I would talk to any of my friends and tell Him my hurts and struggles and all my feelings. She also challenged me to start letting the walls I've built up around me to come down and not be afriad to ask questions to people or share my feeling with people in my life because that's how we learn, when we become vulnerable and willing to share our hurts.